What a fucking waste of an outfit
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
