just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
