Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
