Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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