As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
