No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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