You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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