even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
