Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
