hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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