Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
