Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
