How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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