Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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