yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
