She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize