and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
