you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Did I show you my penis last night?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
