she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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