We're facebook friends in real life
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
