His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
