Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
