So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
