at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
