dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
