My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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