so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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