i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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