worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
