Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
