Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
