I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
