Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
