Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
