I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
