Kareoke will never be a sober sport
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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