It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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