Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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