We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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