Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
