Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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