i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
