Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
