i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
