i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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