i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize