I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
