hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
