My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
