So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
