you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize