Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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