i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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