You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
