smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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