Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
