i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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