What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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