This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
