brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ladies don't puke and tell
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
