GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
