Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
