is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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