Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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